(Marching There and Back)

Written and composed by Syd Dale copyright © JW Media Music Ltd.

Catalogue No.


Why is there no Screen Test on TV now? When amateur films are easier to make now than ever before, why is there no place on the little screen for them? Why do kids nowadays have such a dull life?

Well here are a few facts about Screen Test. They are quite interesting. And if you can answer the impossible Trunk Screen test Question at then end, you will win an original seventies movie poster from the Trunk Archive - something like "The Fly", or "Race with the Devil" or "There's no sex like snow sex". It's a cool poster that you simply must have, but it's a fiendish question.

The first ever episode of Screen Test was shot on April Fools day 1969. By all accounts Michael Rodd thought it was a joke.

Michael Rodd is the uncle of artist "Scanner", the techno loony who used a telephone scanner to make music out of people's phone calls.

Among movie stars profiled by Screen Test was John Holmes, not the porno star but the famous movie animal trainer. He was good with rats by all accounts.

Malcolm Tulip, one of the infamous Screen Test winners, was doing his Fell Walking scout badge at the time of competing.

Neil Dowie, another bright young contestant said that a jolly good nights sleep was essential before competing.

The Screen Test top Ten voted movies...of 1973

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
The Sound of Music
Where Eagles Dare
The Railway Children (where Jenny Agutter takes her knickers off and flags down a train)
Winnie the Pooh
The Battle of Britain
The Aristocats
Jungle Book
Sleeping Beauty
The Tales of Beatrix Potter (this is rubbish)

Five, yes five people were responsible for writing the questions asked. Oh yes, and then Michael had to ask them.

Every week Screen Test heavily promoted the Children's Film Foundation. Young stars of CFF films included David Hemmings, Susan George and Michael Crawford. Where is the CFF now? Bring it back I reckon.

Which one person was in all the following: The Empire Strikes Back, American Werewolf in London, Lace, Grange Hill, Breaking Glass and Dynasty. Email us your answers...or filthy comments...

Finally Derek presents Michael Rodd rendered as Warhol's Monroe because not everything has to make sense.