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Summer 2003

Am I giving away my hard earned kinky vinyl secrets here? Do you look at these listings and then write them in your weird little 'record wants' book? Does anyone read these listings? Does anyone take a blind bit of notice? Do you think I am showing off or just being genuinely interesting? Do you want me to carry on? Do you even give a shit? Will you give me some money? Does my bum look big in this?

Anyway, I will carry on regardless with a short list of stereo turn ons. However, I've just realised that one is a mono. Now for some reason this time there seems to be a whiff of horror sneaking in, maybe I'm turning psychotic, maybe this is just how my ears are behaving or are headed. Either way, a dark trunk period may lie ahead. Or maybe it's just the weather.

THE FARMER - HUGO MONTENEGRO: This is bad. From a little research this is the soundtrack to a banned US horror. I think a farmer seeks revenge for some dreadful deed (this happens a lot to farmers - I really feel for them,. My uncle used to be a piggy farmer - and boy did he get the shitty end of the stick). Anyway, this farmer apparently garrottes lots of people, and torches them etc. It's never been put on video. And this is a private pressing. It's late (75) for Montenegro and is full of what I can only describe as death synthesisers - you know, like on the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. That kind of thing. It's dark and brooding, almost as scary as my overflowing laundry basket in the bathroom.

THE LAST SNOWS OF SPRINGTIME - FRANCO MICALIZZI: Love this baby. Looks like a snowy film set high in the mountains - also looks like a sick child tragedy or something like that, and the music is beautiful. Brazilian with a twist of French je ne sais quoi which is quite weird for an Italian composer.

DIABOLICA - FRANCO MICALIZZI: Yes, him again, this time scoring a Giallo death sex horror flick. Nasty film, superb off centre jazzy touches in the music, including a very breathy flute sequence. A very good buy, bought on the cheap from Mr Barry Seven. What a guy eh? He even reduced it for me. However I did pay in cash and he was in a good mood that day.

POUR LE KARMA SUTRA - VINCENT GEMIGNANI: Bought this on the blind and for once it paid off. Gemignani was an artists / musician who designed and created his own arty percussion instruments. Here, in about 1965 he was employed to perform the percussive oddity that is Charpentiers "Karma Sutra" and pretty wild it is too. Lots of clangs and bongs with lots of space and drama which I find a bit curios for a book on sex. This LP also includes a tense and wholly undiscovered break. But then again it looks exactly like a classical record so nobody would have been looking for it.

RING OUT JOY - ED SUMMERLIN: You would not like to meet this family in the woods. They would love and hug you to death. Yes, that's right, is a God LP, but one of the better ones you could find. It seems like he was a progressive church goer in the 60s and brought things like jazz, multi projections and mixed media to the altar. Now that is either dead cool or really stupid. But the result is this little hum dinger of an LP on my favourite Avant Garde Records label. I now play this, yes religiously, every Sunday whilst I hoover up the debris, crumbs and stiff teabags from the night before.

MOODS AND GROOVES - JU-PAR UNIVERSAL ORCHESTRA: It's been a long while since I listened to funk, and this is the first funky LP I've come across in ages that I really dig baby. It's late '74 and comes from the Detroit 8 mile district. It grooves beautifully in a slightly kitsch pre-disco fashion which I do like, it has a BIG LOVE number, a heavy funk number and best of all a killer McNair style cut called Flute Salad which I wish I'd thought of as a name for a track.

ERIC AND HATTIE AND THINGS: A simply delightful old comedy LP with some outstanding numbers and impeccable timing. If only modern comics were this brave and as musically talented. A joy to look at and listen to, worth picking up because Hattie has a surprisingly fine voice especially on their simply super duet "We Go Together". Smashing! Between you and me I have a slight crush on Hattie Jacques. Very occasionally she turns me on, but not in the normal way. You see, I told you this was all about horror.

MUSIC THAT WORKS: Sublime Canadian advertising music for bacon, skidoos and obscure lager. Electronics, vocal harmonies, everything. More about this LP will follow shortly when I've found some more....

O FABULOSO FITTIPALDI - MARCUS AND PAULO VALLE: Well I just loved that John Player Special Lotus. I even had one as a kid - a little one about four inches long. However I had no idea it was the Fittipaldi car. Now I have the LP too - a musical documentary movie through a year in the grinning grand prix drivers life, and lovely it is too. His wife is talking a lot and Azimuth are playing a lot also on this LP. There is also a very sweet spelling mistake where they consistently spell Wimbledon "Winbledon".

COMMERCIALS '68: Looks like a privately pressed 7" ep, only ten tracks but they are all TV commercial recordings from 1968. Highlight for me is the "Hot Chocolate, drinking chocolate, the late late drink" one, which mixes jazz with the most absurd late nite whispering. Hilarious, quite brilliant and beautifully stuck in time.

LOS BRASILIOS -BRAZILIAN BEAT 67: Just sold one of these for a chum and found another - superior Brazilian pop LP on the criminally insane "Design" label. Do not pay a huge price for this cos you can find it for a little if you wait and look. Sexy female singing, sexy percussion, a real jaunt back to a happy warm place instantly. Good version of What a Difference a day makes, but an even better version of Poinciana. Some pullovers of note also on the front cover, and a lovely pair of tits too. What do you think Derek? (Lovely - Ed.)

PIERO PICCIONE - LA MUSIC NEL...: This man must have the most over farmed nostrils I have ever seen. I mean just imagine either how many times a day he has get out the fuzzaway, or has to poke those Italian hairs back inside. Anyway, this is quite superb, a collection of Piero's more obscure cinematic work, odd, twisty, jazzy and exceptionally cool all the way through. Most of the work on this LP is early sixties, which makes it even cooler if you ask me. Come round, I'll play it to ya.

SHOGUN ASSASSIN - MARK LINSAY: Who the bloody hell are Baby Cart records eh? I have no idea, but they did this. It's very late for me, like made in 1980, but it sat there in a pile and I started listening to it and quite like it now. Lots of savage Samurai clinks and chinks, spoken word and evil but funky 80s horror synth. This is a big sample record for all sorts of reasons, used by the Wu-Tang so I'm told and more people will without doubt pillage the madness and terror deep within these grooves.

7 DOLLARI SUL RUSSO - FRANCESCO DE MASI: An awesome spaghetti LP with everything you want from a spaghetti LP - weird vocals, strange time signatures, pulsing drama, dubby effects, a sad lonely feel, violence and the old saloon piano honky tonky track. This LP has it all, plus one of the greatest spaghetti covers of all time. On the rare Cam CDR series this is a beauty in every respect, a real grower and more lovelies like this will follow shortly. It also looks like the bloke in the picture standing on the table is up to no good. No good at all.

WORLDS WITHIN WORLDS - BASIL KIRCHIN: After much mucking around I have my hands on the original golden eggy weggy. Yes, the most off the wall out there avant jazz animal oddity ever made. This is the EMI Columbia version, slightly more original and fresher than the Island records continuation mentioned in a past Now I'm not into listening to the avant garde but I have a warm squishy place for Basil and I have found this recording quite unbelievable in terms of listening addiction and new discoveries in sound. It's a bit difficult to put into words but it is basically addictive, mesmerising and highly influential. I will add finally that it's not a good as "Quantum" which is the Kirchin LP I'm about to release. So there. Read the trunk Quantum page for a full sort of history of Basil and his music. And buy the CD.

CONGALAONGA MAX! SENOR BYGRAVES: This is true horror. The dulcet tones of our Max cashing in on the all too brief conga craze that swept seaside towns briefly in the early seventies. This is Volume Ten of the "Singalonga" series, and not one I've seen before so I had to buy it. It really is total hell, and if ever I murder someone, I will have this playing. Having said that I'm going to drop it at the next wedding I'm playing at and will report back the dancefloor incidents. The grannies will surely dig it, if indeed "dig" is the right word for grannies. "Like" is probably better. No, "enjoy" is the one I think. Actually no, on Trisha there are occasionally grannies that are about 40 years old, they might say dig I spose. Well, whatever, nice shirt Max.

Cor blimey guvnor. This blindin' little ep was in luverly nick when it arrived in the post. Came from a reeely nice bloke 'n' all. And I tell ya something else - it's bleedin rare. Nice thing though, lovely drawin of Stanley Baker on the front, and quite a nifty old jazz line up to boot. Loverley. Never knew old Dudley Moore was on the Joanna until I read it on the back.


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