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Spring 2001

DAVE GOULDER AND LIZ DYER - JANUARY MAN: this took about three years to track downown, rumour has it that Japanese people like this LP a lot. It's a folk Lp, one of only two they actually made together. Dave and Liz both ran a hostel deep and high in the Scottish mountains, and played trad English songs in their spare time. Amazing version of "Pigs Can See The Wind", a great song about Bedlam, and just a bloody marvellous English folk LP that is not like any of the others. He has a bushy beard.

PUFNSTUF: Got this soundtrack out because Jack Wild was on 'Trisha' the other morning talking about his childhood stardom and subsequent journey into drink and drug oblivion. He is now a weird mess who can't talk properly and he's also trying to write a book about his past but he can't actually remember it very well. Anyway, he was in 'Oliver' and 'Pufnstuf' which has to be one of the strangest, cultest kiddies things ever made. Pretty odd music too, with songs about dragons and psychedelia by Mama Cass. (Aint no rhyme for oranges - Ed.)

FOLLOW ME - JOHN YLVISAKER: I think religious folky proggy Lps are cool. This is one of the cooler ones, as big beautiful John (still playing live in Waco) gets down to his god business and messages with the help of Dick Hyman. Killer version of 'Wade in the Water'. More religion will follow shortly. No beard. But Jesus had one, and I think God still has his.

IRISH ANANBELS CONFESSIONS TO RAPIER: One of a handful of original 70s sex flexi-discs that I will be releasing shortly as an LP. Utter filth all the way. Fun to sample, great to shock, easy to DJ with but definitely not sexy at all. She definitely has a beard (and just for you... an even hairier wetter cunt etc -Ed.).

SPRING SONG - OTILLE PATTERSON: This woman is i) unattractive ii) very twisted. She takes traditional English vocals patterns and sonnets and then puts them to any music she seems to fancy at the time. Like jazz meets Shakespeare, but not in that Cleo Lane naff way, far more experimental. Quite irresistible actually, and most surprising. An effective, nee progressive attempt at doing something interesting, so good for her, and me too. She is sitting on a rocking chair on the front cover, but showing no interest in the rocking facility at all.

RENNEE GEYER BAND - READY TO DEAL. I can't remember if I've already mentioned this lot before, but I have been listening to the LP for some while now and still can't work out why I like it. It can only be described as crap funk. But it sounds like its well played and it works very well as an LP you can stick on and forget. Australian and interesting. One of the band has a beard.

WORLDS WITHIN WORLDS - BASIL KIRCHIN: This bloke did the music for Dr Phibes Clockwork band. I was hoping therefore that this LP would be mechanical and crazy. Unfortunately it is neither. He's got loads of funny recordings, like Hippos and Gorillas and a hornbill, and spliced and sliced all the sounds together into one great big long cohesive noise terror thing. Sounds exactly like a TG record, only earlier and better and slightly less threatening. He's got a beard too.

BENT FABRIC - THE DRUNKEN PENGUIN: Aaaah. Sweeeeet. A giant penguin on the cover. I love penguins. A shit, piano based LP, mainly cover versions in novelty fashion, but does contain a wicked version of "Titina" that made me laugh even after the fifth time I put it on. Distinctive sound.

BILLY SMARTS CIRCUS RECORDED LIVE IN THE BIG TOP: Yes, and then I ran away and joined the circus, and spent my life playing versions of 'A taste of honey' and stuff like that all out of tune and out of time. But it was really hard to do because we had to watch the performers do their thing and try and keep the music in time with them, which was a nightmare really. And my uniform was shit too. I'm still friendly with Krenzola and his amazing animal antic show though.

CAPTAIN NOAH AND HIS FLOATING ZOO - THE KING SINGERS: Worth mentioning here because there is a massive breakbeat intro in amongst this mix of poetry and la-de-da barber shop shit. NIce booklet.

BARRY MILES AND SILVERLIGHT: Dug out this bit of fusion the other day and gave it another listen. Blimey, those guys were good with all that fusion stuff, playing all sorts of things at the same time and actually making it sound rather good. Better than I though in fact. Lots of wibbly wobbly synthy bits and some hilarious outfits worn by silverlight. One of the catsuits worn looks like an exploding firework, it's that cool. And yes, another beard.

MY OWN RECORDING OF STUDLAND: Did this the other morning standing on Studland beach with my lovely girlie. Just a quiet and simple recording of the sea gently rolling in. Lovely to drift and float away to. Might actually release it because it is super.

ANOTHER OF MY OWN RECORDINGS, THIS TIME ITS A WOODPECKER. Not as dull as you may think. This Lesser Spotted little sod woke me up today at about six in the morning. He was actually hammering against the wall in my bedroom. The sound was this repetitive banging which actually started to shake the whole house. So I got my little recorder out. This is as good as anything by Ludovick Kocke, and I didn't have to hide away in a bush for days on end wasting reels of tape just to get it. Derek would be pleased (He is - Ed.).

BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE - MORRICONE: Nice link eh? Woodpecker to bird...anyway, a great and often disturbing Morricone LP from a classic Argento movie, and we all know what that means. Lovely bossas followed by horrid and twisted psychotic soundscapes and all that jazzy italian stuff. Definately and LP worth tracking down, used to be a doddle to find but probably a little harder nowadays, but then again isn't everything. Incidentally, I think the USA cover is better than all the alternatives. However, there is not beard in sight here, but I think Argento had one

Margaret Armitage.