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October 2004


Now look, I've been away. Things have been tricky. There are bugger all records in Edinburgh. Lot's of charity shops and some amazing kebab establishments, but bugger all records. Well there's one shop but it's so full of boxes of record everywhere that only about two people can get in the shop at the same time so after two visits I just thought well sod you. Get a bigger shop. And both times I went there were Italians everywhere looking for the blues. Anyway, when I retuned chez Trunk things were good. I had been without my LPs for a whole month. Try it, it's great. And this has got me all exploring again, diggin' deep in those untouched, forgotten piles of vinyl. And this is what I have resurfaced with. As usual, there will be explanatory notes which won't help you at all.


TERUMASO HINO - SNAKE HIPS - Now to look at this guy you'd never guess he was influenced by Miles Davis would you. No, Miles never wore denim or big, cool shades. No, never ever. Well, to tell the truth, this is the Japanese Miles. He's bonkers. Miles was his biggest influence he even used to pose and dress like him. And this record isn't bonkers, but it is very good. It's a soundtrack to this Snake Hip thing. It's got crazy Japanese chicks in it doing go go dancing and that. It's very fast, but far too fast to be groovy if you ask me. It also, remarkably, doesn't sound Japanese, or like Miles. This is only a single by the way.

 

THIS HARVEY SMITH RECORD.
The painful obsession with all things rubbish and celebrity carries on. This nightmare was sent it to the Trunk HQ by an all knowing fan. Well done knowing fan. This is so, so very bad I love it. Imagine a love song sung by this terrible man. Imagine smooching with this horse person. Terrible isn't it. Well that's how bad this is. I reckon that's one of those Sanyo sponsored horses he's on in the picture. I remember on horse of the year show when all his horses began with the name Sanyo. How shit is that. Please excuse the odd scanning error, but the cat that got lost and then was found two weeks later is recuperating, as a result he is allowed to walk all over the scanner whenever he wishes.


AND THIS MIKE SAMMES I LOVE YOU LP:

He never stops thrilling me Mr Sammes. Note the cheap chokky box cover. This LP is still affordable - I have found two in less than a week at less than £1. The original price of this LP in 1975 was £0.99, so it's doing better than Marks and Spencers shares at the moment. Buy this LP now, buy lots of them, tell your friends. There's agreat Bacharach tune on here and some other treats too. Believe me. Invest now. And it's on that really bad Circle Of Sound label too. But buy it, stick in on ebay with the words “scat” and “rare” and watch it fly.


MEN OPENING UMBRELLAS - VIV STANSHALL. It's been a while since I dipped my nib in the inky well of Viv. I remember how mad he is, but really I had forgotten just how mad. Clever and mad. I bought this years ago at Norwich market off that old geezers stall, and remembered that it reminded me of Pulp and Jarvis in a funny way. My opinions have now changed, and this LP mixes up all things you shouldn't, but that was always his idea anyway. I also went specifically to see a play in Edinburgh with Neil Innes songs in it, and they were really shit songs. I was gutted. Please note how creative Viv can be in front of a camera. I also think he mentions penis and cock a lot on this LP.

AFTER THE RAIN - MUDDY WATERS.
Blues records. Fuck right off I hear you say. But no, not this time. Maybe I am mellowing with age or something. I don't listen to blues that much, and this little sucker was at the back of a big pile. I bought it when that crap shop in Oxford had all those unplayed LPs in from the Gramophone Magazine collection. It was insane, they had all these LPs you never see, all unplayed. People were spending like twenty grand a trip, There was me with about 50 quid. Anyway, I bought this and never really gave it a listen. I just read Charles Stepney on the back and thought the cover was sublime. I mean just look at that frog. And listening in on Muddy here, I think he's been licking that there frog and has become very high indeed. This is out there - I mean I started looking to see if my record player was busted. It sounds all wrong, and then all of a sudden you get it. I'm sure my blues period will start and end here.


COSMIC EYE - DREAM SEQUENCE.
I've just finished reading this brilliant book called “In The Sixties” by Barry Miles. He started International Times, hung out with Beatles, Ginsburg (no, not Gainsbourg), The Stones, like he knew everyone. Even Groooooovy Bob the famous Chelsea art dealer who got banged up in the scrubs was one of his mates. Well this great book is all about the subtle birth of British psychedelia and the birth of the swinging 60s in London Town - written very much from the eye of the storm. This LP is exactly the kind of vibe they were on, in mellower moments. I mean it was all Floyd and Soft Machine for parties and happenings, but this is right for the bookshops he opened. Or the head shops that were beginning to spring up in hip street. Ray Swinfield, the man from Mr Benn, is on flute. Amancio D'Silva, him from Goa is on guitar. So it's a British jazz line up doing subtle psychedelia. There is only one track on this two sided album. Good title too.

JOHNNY HAWKSWORTH - CARIBBEAN SOUNDS. I ask you, have you ever seen a
cover that is worse that this. Just look at that drawing. Some of the little De Wolfe library LPs look lovely, good type, weird graphics, but this, I mean it looks as Mr Hawksworth has got his daughter who is still at school to copy a photo and this is a good as she managed and then they ran out of time and had to go with it, hoping that no one would ever notice just how shit the artwork really is. Well time is up, and we have all now noticed. Well maybe it's not really that bad, but just try and explain that steel drum just floating in nowhere above his shoulder. What the hell is that all about. Anyway, moving swiftly on, you'll be glad to hear that the music behind this grim facade is far better. There are about three racey little hip hoppy things with steel drum bits which I dig. If you find an album with a shit drawing on it please send us a jpeg.


LOVE BIRDS - BRUNO NICOLAI. Not as dark as some of his other stuff, this is all strings and nearly sex. There's one of those lovely long repetitive floaty things on here too. They have written the title many many times on the front cover in different languages, and sent it out as a library record, even though it is really the music already for a film. Those Italians will do anything for a bit more cash.


CHRISTINE HARWOOD - NICE TO MEET MISS CHRISTINE.
Why oh why oh why.
Wooden ships turned up on a folky funky London bootleg and everyone went Harwood mad. This was about five years ago. Everyone is still Harwood mad. Yes, I admit, I went Harwood mad too. It is an impossible LP to track down. Issued on the dead and obscure “Birth” label, this shoddy rock LP does have its moments. Too few if you ask me to make it
like this classic classic LP, and sometimes I think it's not really worth the hundreds of pounds people pay. But there is a track on the B side which I really like a lot and have been listening to often. On the other tracks I think she sounds a bit screechy squawky. As my mate Godsey says, this is a trophy record. I don't rate her dress sense too highly. I think I might sell this LP.


THE VOICE AFTER THE LARYNX HAS BEEN REMOVED.
There are spoken word LPs
And spoken word LPs. Then there's this. Which is all about spoken word when you can't spoke at all. I've never heard anything quite like it. You know in those odd New York gangster films you occasionally get the godfather character talking with the use of an electric razor like thing held at his throat? Well it's all like that. I have found it fascinating. Someone even sings on it half way through.

POOL-PAH - THE FLASHER:
Bit of an old classic this one, soundtrack to the man who legs it around NYC flashing everyone. I think flashing is a little out of fashion these days, but way back in the early 70s it was obviously the hot thing to do. Have you ever seen John Waters “Pink Flamingos”, where the flasher has tied a long, thin salami to his knob and then goes out on the prowl? Weird. Anyway, this is groovy rocky funk stuff with some electronics thrown in for good measure. Quite nice. I like the pictures on the back. This LP won a sex award or certainly a prize for best sex soundtrack back in the day, however I have been reliably informed it was the only entrant in the competition that year. This year they have won the Trunk special prize for most daft and unpronounceable band name.


THE FARMHOUSE KITCHEN THEME: I never knew I had this. Then I went for a few beers with Sean, the demon collector. He is the biggest soul funk jazz old skool hip hop collector in the UK. He has everything, even like mythical records. And he has doubles of most of them. Anyway, during our chat, he explained that he had been after the Farmhouse Kitchen theme for years. He hummed it to me. A few days later, I accidentally stumbled across it on an old Southern Library LP. I went mad. Visions of warm bread and gingham table cloths have haunted me ever since. Whatever next eh? Paint along with nancy?

GONKS GO BEAT - VARIOUS:
The various artists on the LP are rubbish. Really naff in fact. Hold on though...there are many redeeming features on this terrible record. Firstly, the film, if you have ever seen it, is bonkers. Lots of Brits trying very hard to be hip and groovy, and failing terribly. But the title sequence alone is hilarious. Also, there is a rare performance on the film, early on, by the amazing Graham Bond Organisation. Graham Bond looks like a fat, white Ray Charles and boy does he groove. Like decades ahead of any of the other musicians on this superb 60s flop. So, there's a killer Graham Bond track on this LP called “Harmonica” that's not available anywhere else, and not a bad Lulu track either. Yes, Lulu. She will never be mentioned on this site again, unless of course we find a naked picture of her or I begin a granny sex affair with her. Both are unlikely.


HOUSE SAFE FOR TIGERS - LEE HAZELWOOD:
During his Swedish period, Mr Hazelwood did this. By all accounts it's not a very good film. He did all the music. And he was in the film too. It's the rarest of all the Hazelwood LPs because it was only pressed in Sweden for about a week. Lee is now way out of fashion. He had that big burst of interest about 4 years ago and now no one gives two figs about the bloke. Well I still quite like his dulcet tones and his instrumentals on this soundtrack are alright by me. Weird name for a film though.


TROUSER SUIT - NINO NARDINI: There is not a great deal to say about this track. It's all chirpy jazz at the beginning, and you would hum or ever doodle doo to it. Then in the middle it changes into this soft, twangy geetar bit, which sound like hip hop. Then it goes back to the doodle doo bit. Superb. Good title too.

KARL HEINZ SCHAFER - TENDRE DRACULA: This was only supposed to be a single. And then I found an LP. On the obscure, mysterious Eden Roc label. Not only does this have Peter Cushing on the title track (I love Cushing, and love him even more on vinyl) but it also has one of those wonderful “Little girl lost” kind of tracks, a bit like P'eau D'Ane and also sung in French. No, I'm not confused. Just in a hurry. Also, putting this LP in this lot of recommendations is a cheap way of showing a girl's bum on this page. Derek doesn't need any excuse at all, do you Derek?


MIKE TAYLOR - PAUSE AND THINK AGAIN: This is a nightmare. First of all it took a couple of years to find this. And I had to advertise for at least a year of that time trying to get it. Desperate was I. Then I find a copy, a weird review copy with all notes on the label and that. Then I had that moment when I put the needle to the record for the first time and I'm dead excited. Legendary jazz record and all. And I hated it. Too free I thought. Too insane I thought. Well I got it out the other day, two years down the line and I was totally wrong. This is unbelievable in a clever jazz way. Honest, I was blown away by the record and my own initial impatience and stupidity. At one stage I was planning on trading the little fella, but I'm not now. I'm keeping it. It's also one of only three LPs on the Turtle label, and it is the Turtle label alright as there's this little sea bound turtle swimming on the label as it goes round. Very sweet. Oh, and Norma is singing on it too. The cover is a concrete motorbike with tomatoes.

BASIL KIRCHIN - ABSTRACTIONS OF THE INDUSTRIAL NORTH: For all those Kirchin fans this wonderfully sad masterpiece will be with you soon. It nearly always makes me upset and almost tearful when it's on. Having said that I am a soppy sort and will easily get upset and well-up very quickly at all sorts of things. This happened to me only the other day when I rang to speak with the master of this sound, Basil Kirchin. His wife answered the phone. Basil was upstairs in bed. He is not well she said. Just come back from hospital. He's just has his only remaining good eye removed. I was filled with total sadness, thinking what a bleak world it must be now for him, not being able to see anything at all. I don't know how I could manage, but then his wife said he's desperate to get back into the studio. What a guy. Looses his sight and still has the drive and will to make more music. I will always be a fan of this amazing man.


LISTEN WITH GROOVY FRIENDS

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